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Whether And When To Start Punishing Bullies
It will determine the society we live in
A primary school boy is consistently bullied by a classmate. The victim’s parents have always told him violence is not an option and that he should not resort to it. Anyone with siblings knows casual violence is never too far away in the early years of our lives. Up to this point, everything seems normal. However, what happens next differs hugely depending on the culture where it occurs. In one country, the school will contact the bully’s parents and present the situation as a grave problem they must solve or risk changing schools. In another, the bullied kid’s folks might be urged to tell the boy to learn to defend himself.
Recently, I learned of one such situation and was shocked to realise this could still happen. I had thought — wished, perhaps — that this dynamic was something of the past everywhere. In perplexity, I watched as the five-year-old, with a minor scratch on his forehead from the school scuffles, trained left and right hooks with a sparring dad. The worst part was witnessing how the culture of a man having to defend his physical integrity and honour trickled through the young boy’s psyche. When some of his family members told him to hit back, he would shout that he already did, and I could see that he felt frustrated about it. Sadly, adults often forget how…