Understanding What We Cannot Understand

In the land of the cruel the empathetic one is king

a blindfolded man on top of a tower points towards the horizon with confidence, minimal neon futurism — by DALL·E

It is hard to understand issues we don’t have. We may claim we do, but we often feel compelled to express sympathy because it feels right and fair, not because we comprehend a problem that somebody else has. Even more frequently, we believe we are entitled to offer a valid perspective, perhaps more valuable — such is our arrogance! — than that of the affected party. This most condescending act is utterly abominable, but most of us have been or will soon be guilty of it.

Let’s see a common example: people from sovereign nations disregarding as excessively nationalistic those whose nationality is not recognised. Someone who only has to answer ‘English’ or ‘American’ or ‘French’ or ‘Russian’ when asked the seemingly innocuous question of where they are from cannot understand what it is for someone whose answer will — at best — cause controversy. If their honest and heartfelt answer is ’Taiwanese’ or ‘Catalan’ or ‘Palestine’ or ‘Kurdish’, the experience won’t be as smooth. Their reply will inevitably cause scorn, derision or conflict. It is hard to imagine being averse to telling the time.

Gender is another relevant example: how easy is it for a cisgender to deem a gender-neutral person too opinionated or vocal? When we have always identified…