Those Around Us Make Us Vulnerable Too

Zooming into the bubble and out of it again

a group of people listen attentively to their leader inside a snow globe on somebody’s living room, surreal digital art — by DALL·E

One of the few truths I hold dear is that we are only as good as those around us. Any of us can experience this if we have had the fortune or courage to venture outside of our given circle of family, friends and associates.

Indeed, realising that those with whom we spend most of our time directly shape who we are shouldn’t lead to contentment but fierce action. These are valuable tickets we can both give and take. We must be brave enough to ask ourselves if someone has the calibre to deserve our time; even more importantly, we should have the guts to wonder if we are good enough for those whose close circle we inhabit.

Often, we make the mistake of confusing the worth that something should have with its actual value. Thus, we keep the status quo of our relationships because it is comfortable to do so, not because it is convenient or optimal. The consequences of a poor-quality social environment are dire. The mind narrows, the imagination shuts and our ears hear what they once learned to hear and won’t listen to anything new anymore.

Even for those of us who value and look after our relational health, those around us make us vulnerable. It is inherent to the condition of being close: when something influences us — be it for better…