The Best Groups Of People Don’t Let Guilt In

They own their mistakes and support each instead.

Marti Purull


a group of people pull one another up a cliff using ropes and team effort, digital art — by DALL·E

When we feel low and insecure, a natural response is to blame those around us for our shortcomings. The last thing an insecure person needs is more self-loathing, so seeking the blame in our immediate vicinity is a reflexive act of self-preservation. We might be failing in a particularly difficult task or missing a goal we set for ourselves. Frequently, we will blame those who gave us the job for demanding too much and not giving us the necessary tools. Alternatively, we might point fingers at those under our command for not being talented or hard-working enough.

The best groups of people are robust because they are immune to such reactions. Regardless of the position of any given member, we will find that guilt is not something they are interested in. We might meet a ground worker, a middle manager or the organisation’s leader, and they will all have this one quality in common: they own their mistakes and don’t blame others. Somehow, they defuse the potential bomb of insecure lashing by creating such a supportive, honest and caring environment that the would-be hater cannot bring themselves to attack, urged instead to introspect and seek help.

Such communities are rare in a world obsessed with individual gain and ambition. However, some have already noticed the immense potential any individual can achieve by surrounding themselves with similarly inclined people. It may not be the fastest route to where we would like to get, but the odds of us eventually getting there are much higher.

Moreover, living and working as part of such a community is much more pleasurable and heartwarming, which some of us may dare to perceive as a goal in itself.

Written while listening to the incessant sound of the air purifier.

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Who am I, you ask?

I am a musician who writes and a writer who makes music. You can enter my world here.



Marti Purull

I’m a musician, but I think every day. So I write every day. Thoughts. Reflections. Life.