Speaking About Problems Is Both Generous And Self-Preserving

Bad days are better shared

Marti Purull
3 min readAug 9, 2022


a group of friends with exposed hearts talk about their problems in the middle of the ocean, digital collage — by DALL·E

Good Will Collision

We all can have bad days, personally or professionally. Sometimes, both worlds collide and blast us out of our stability. It is the sort of day when we wish we had stayed in bed. When this happens, I prefer to stay inside and not meet anybody. I feel it is a fair approach: I will deal with it myself; nobody deserves my foul mood. Naturally, we may have made plans in advance: bad days tend to come unannounced. So there we are, using our last bit of energy to arrange those facial muscles together in a semblance of a smile while greeting a friend. In these unavoidable circumstances, I find myself caught in the middle of not wanting to infect my mates with my mood while aiming at always being 100% honest with them.

How Are You?

Since I am terrible at faking anything, I tend to open up and pour it all out. In a recent scenario of this kind, it was my friend who started talking about what a horrible day she had had before I had a chance to say anything. We marvelled and laughed at the synchronicity and had finished moaning before the second sip of wine. Any harrowing experience, when shared and mirrored in someone else’s, becomes automatically more bearable. It may seem obvious, but opening up isn’t that common. We ask people how they are doing every day, but we hardly listen to what they have to say because we all have agreed the question is a mere formality, and so is the answer.

Letting It Out

However, I firmly believe that talking about our problems is a generous act of self-preservation. It is generous because one person stepping forward makes it much easier for anyone else to replicate the move. Support groups and safe spaces are elevated versions of being open about the things that trouble us. We only have to listen to people who have suffered from depression to know that isolation is one of its worst aspects. It is an act of self-preservation because keeping our issues trapped inside can only lead to our demise. Sooner or later, we will fall or explode. The reality is there is only so much space in the mind for emotional pain.

Some of us are more motivated by individual gain. Some of us are driven by doing good for others. Regardless of the spark, being open about how we feel is beneficial for everyone.

Today’s level of pessimistic optimism: 60%.

Written while listening to: ’76:14’ by ‘Global Communication. (Yes, again.)

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Who am I, you ask?

I am a musician who writes and a writer who makes music. You can enter my world here.



Marti Purull

I’m a musician, but I think every day. So I write every day. Thoughts. Reflections. Life.