Let’s Stop Amplifying Sadness — Genuine Or Not

Public displays of sadness serve no healthy purpose

individuals in a group compete to see who can show the most pathetic display of sadness, surreal digital art — by DALL·E

I remember reading the account of a North Korean man who eventually escaped to the South about his experience of Kim Il-sung’s death in 1994. Although he was only a child and his family harboured doubts about the regime, the boy found himself in the schoolyard, surrounded by other boys, when they delivered the news. The shock and incomprehension about the passing of a man who had been portrayed as immortal quickly gave way to a display of collective pain and sorrow. The nameless witness described how he didn’t feel any of the emotions associated with the death of someone dear to us, but still, he hammered the ground in desperation, tears flooding his eyes, screams threatening to rip his lungs. Everybody else around him displayed similar desolation, and the feeling appeared to be infectious.

While I haven’t had the misfortune of living under such tyranny, I have seen strange emotional displays in or around my family. Some cultures demand we show consternation upon hearing terrible tidings. Feeling dismayed is not enough or necessary: what is important is that we show it. In my opinion, this turns sympathy into a pantomime. Moreover, public displays of sadness are not only infectious but also addictive: I know people who live for the drama, always ready to…