How To Trust Safely

Going from preemptively conditional to courageously unconditional

a man drops backwards and a woman holds him from behind in the middle of nowhere, surreal, sleek digital art — by DALL·E

In some parts of the world, when a student applies to enrol at a university, they might receive a conditional offer. The condition might involve passing an entry-level test if the degree requires extensive base knowledge, or certifying having full command of the language in which the teaching will be imparted. Both conditions seem fair to me. What is the point of offering a sought position to someone who cannot make the most of it, at least not yet, and leaving out others who deserve it as much? Since I often write about how everything else about high education is tragically flawed, I thought I would start with this.

Conditions exist in all we do. Without them, there would be no society. We establish, meet or reject them, and our relationship with them determines how we live and interact with others. Nothing is more unjust than not giving someone a condition when we meet them. I try to have everyone new in my life pass the same test (albeit it is a subtle test they don’t know they are taking, of course). Are you kind? Are you at least semi-intelligent? Are you fun? As any relationship progresses, we get more questions answered: Are you generous? Are you fair? And as friendship blooms, we acquire all sorts of details: Are you reliable? Are you judgmental? And finally: Can I…