Excellence Is At Odds With Happiness

Unless we excel at striking the right balance

a woman walks on a tightrope hanging from building to building in a sea of skyscrapers, sleek, minimal, futuristic style — by DALL·E

The first time someone referred to me by my job title, it felt wrong. I didn’t despise my job, and I wasn’t embarrassed by it; on the contrary, I quite liked it and was rather proud of having got it. However, I was aware it only represented a part of me. I didn’t identify as a member of a profession. The practice is common because it makes it easier to process people and places and to navigate the hyperconnected world.

We box people because it would be impossible to contemplate every nuance of everyone we come across. Thus, we define them as they concern us: the plumber, the receptionist, the mechanic, the web developer, the musician, the actor, etc. It doesn’t matter that the musician fixes toilets during the day or that the web developer spends every evening acting at a local theatre. We don’t care if the mechanic used to be a receptionist or if the receptionist dreams of becoming a mechanic. We met them in a particular circumstance, and that is the label we stick to them for our peace of mind.

To make things even more complicated, some jobs require that we obsess over them. Excellence demands obsession. I have spent countless hours learning and practising to become a musician, writer, audio producer and software engineer. I would write lyrics during…