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Can We Learn To Be Liked?

And, if so, should we?

Marti Purull
2 min readFeb 16, 2023
two people hug joyously, happy to come across each other, sleek digital art — by DALL·E

Some people are magical. Whenever an old acquaintance recognises them, they are happy to encounter them and celebrate the occasion with hugs and laughs. Former colleagues and schoolmates are classic examples. The feeling of being greeted joyously by a fellow human never ceases to warm the heart. Sometimes, the difference in how we react to someone over someone else can seem capricious and unfair. I know many people I don’t hold anything against that I would prefer not to come across while encountering others always makes my day.

If it feels so good to have this positive effect on others, shouldn’t we learn from these social magicians?

From my careful observation of the phenomenon over the years, I have drawn several conclusions about what makes these people so particular. Firstly, such wonderful specimens don’t judge other people; instead, they listen actively to everybody and learn from them, often ensuring that their interlocutor knows they appreciate the acquired knowledge. Secondly, they always make those around them comfortable so they are open to expressing themselves; isn’t it funny how these charismatic wizards effortlessly cause us to open up without fear? Thirdly, they always seek to include new people in old circles, introducing folks to each other casually and positively. Fourthly, they have our…

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Marti Purull
Marti Purull

Written by Marti Purull

I’m a musician, but I think every day. So I write every day. Thoughts. Reflections. Life.

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