Are Ultimatums Ever A Good Idea?

They can certainly help us — if we know ourselves first.

a woman stands in magical darkness surrounded by doors, some closed, some open, digital art — by DALL·E

Although I can see how they might be inevitable occasionally, I have never been a fan of ultimatums. ’Now or never’ does not seem like a wise standpoint from where to make a significant decision. ‘With me or against me’ does not appear to be a fair or accurate assessment of an impending conflict. Why are ultimatums so present in our lives?

For one, they offer immediacy and demand urgency. If we need an answer, an ultimatum expedites it. If we cannot decide, an ultimatum makes the call for us. Although it varies depending on the individual, humans aren’t particularly patient. The wait threatens us with madness, for we are thinking creatures that will utilise any moment to ponder and reflect — or to overthink and doubt. The most terrible enemy of a good decision is how it takes us to implement it.

Of course, few optimum decisions result from a lack of time. Out of three doors, we have over a 33% chance of walking through the right one. Out of twenty, we reduce our odds to only 5%. But what if several or many of the doors lead to positive outcomes? Moreover, most of the time we ignore not only what lies beyond each entry but also the number of entries we have. Time allows us to peer into the darkness of our ignorance. Alas, more options often lead…